well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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