There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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