I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
