So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
