If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize