i was born a porn star she said
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
