he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
