I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
There's always time for handjobs
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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