dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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