I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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