he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
