Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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