needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
