I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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