The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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