he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
