gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
