you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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