: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
