I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
