Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My life is pants optional.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
