Dual....:-)
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
