We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize