I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
