I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
