didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
