did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
