It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
