His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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