i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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