Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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