so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
