dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
