yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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