How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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