We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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