I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
