I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
