i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
