Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My vagina just recognized that song.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
