So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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