I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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