I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
