I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
