she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
