He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
