Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
