dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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