love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
