You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
