There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
