oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
