my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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