Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
