I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
