Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
