The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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