I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
A+ Viking dick
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
