Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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