I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
