Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize