Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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