We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
