Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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