Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
