We're facebook friends in real life
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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