I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
